How to break up with someone you love. Pain free approach
The phrase “to break up with someone you love” sounds quite controversial as it is hard to imagine a break up when no one is hurt, especially in cases when it is one person that wants to quit a relationship. However, there are ways to make any breakup feel less devastating. Even if the love and passion are over, respect is the feeling that makes you care about someone’s feelings. Being ethical when breaking up minimizes unpleasant consequences and loss of self-esteem.
This article includes some tips that will help you in different situations. Of course, there are cases where abuse takes place and all you need to do is to take care of your safety and quit relationships as soon as possible.
Getting the Courage To Break Up
To break up with someone is one of the most difficult decisions a person can make. The first thing that psychologists recommend is to ease the tension and not delay the X day. No matter how troublesome the break-up process seems to you, postponement of the conversation won’t help you to solve any problem but can only make it worse. Just imagine how awful your partner feels when he/she realizes that you wanted to quit relationships for a long time.
Cutting off your nose is not the best thing to do as well. A decision to break up with someone needs to be well-considered. If you still have deep feelings then you should consider working on relationships. You can try to fix issues, talk to your partner openly, discuss all the complaints, and go for a professional family psychologist’s assistance if needed. Anyway, you need to be sure of what you want from life. When you change your mind like a girl changes clothes you make your closest one hurt even more.
But there are always some things you should never forgive in any relationship.
Sometimes it seems easier to skip that unpleasant conversation, however, psychologists insist on breaking up properly. When we say properly, we mean you share your thoughts and reasons with the one you break up with. Some people have issues with describing their feelings because of childhood traumas as they clarify adult’s relationships as an act full of screaming and manipulation. Those people are not able to conduct dialogue and bring up complicated topics.
The “Final” Conversation
There is no need to make a break-up-script but try to think about things that you shouldn’t say. Don’t hold old grudges or make drama. Try to be as calm as possible during the conversation and avoid fighting to make it less heartbreaking for your partner.
The best thing you can do is to stay honest with your partner and yourself. Avoid giving sick false hopes. Psychologists believe that victims of ghosting suffer from a break-up backfire even more as they start asking themselves why do they deserve such an approach and what did they do wrong. The fact of being dumped is nasty enough and you don’t want to hurt someone even more, don’t you? Telling the truth to your partner is the best thing you can do to make it easier for both of you. Moreover, thus you can maintain a good relationship with your ex after a breakup.
You can make this rough conversation less difficult by getting ready for it. Think the whole conversation over and pick up the most appropriate words to express your feelings. If you know that your partner has troubles when dealing with emotions then you should avoid public places but choose the more intimate setup so your partner wouldn’t go through unnecessary embarrassment.
Honesty Is a Key
Some people believe sweet lies help to live through the break-up process easier, however, psychologists insist on conducting honest conversation only, avoiding cliche explanations. Of course, you don’t need to share all of your thoughts but using phrases like “It’s not you, it’s me” can only make it worse and make your partner think he/she doesn’t deserve a proper explanation of your moves.
When ending serious relationships the final conversation is inevitable. In this case, you need to be extremely polite and precise. This is when you need to be specific and describe all of your concerns to the partner. Make sure you avoid raised voices and insults during the conversation. You need to reveal the most crucial aspects of your relationship that led you to that decision. Also, it would be great if you describe your feelings calmly, despite the fact you were upset. Usually, breakups bring up the most unpleasant topics, however, if you know this is the end of a relationship, then there is no need to spread yourself too thin. Respect your time and save your energy for recovery after a breakup.
You have to be ready for an emotional attitude in reaction to you. The best thing you can do is to stay friendly to your partner, talk through good aspects of your relationship as well, let your partner know that you appreciate his/her time and feelings however, you are the most important person in your life and your comfort must be a priority.
Is There a Life After Breakup?
Your relationship with your ex after break up really depends on his/her personality. If it is a toxic person that used to use you for his/her comfort without giving back enough love and gratitude, then don’t bother yourself in communicating with that person anymore.
Sometimes, we have to break up with someone who was more than a lover but a true friend. That is the case when you need to work on relationships, visit a psychologist together to wrap this state of your life and keep being friends. This is especially important if you have joint children, a circle of friends, or a business to deal with.
Romantic relationships are supposed to make a couple happy. Still, the feeling of love doesn’t guarantee the success of relationships. The tips in the article will help you to go through a break-up as pain-free as possible, boost the level of your dignity and self-love.