First Fight In Relationship: How to Get Through It And Make Peace
When was your first fight in a relationship Reddit? Everything can be forgiven to a loved one… but even here there are some “boundaries”, for example, if your partner betrayed you or cheated on you, this cannot be forgiven. A quarrel is a good test of the sincerity of the partners’ feelings, which usually succeeds, provided that the couple still wants to stay together. Finally, the quarrel shows that people and relationship between them are developing.
It is known that sex and money consistently rank as the top two reasons why couples fight. Average time for first fight in relationship: this happens differently for each couple, depending on how the partners handle the situation. Conflict, on the one hand, is an unpleasant thing, as it makes us experience feelings that we don’t like: anger, resentment, misunderstanding, and so on … But on the other hand, this is a normal event since a couple is two people who are not copies of each other, but have their interests, sometimes contradictory. When partners cannot find an option that satisfies both, a conflict arises.
Is it normal to not have your first fight in a relationship? Every couple sooner or later has a quarrel, but if there is none, it may mean that you are indifferent to each other. First of all, having your first fight in a relationship shows that the partners are interested in each other and they have mutual feelings, otherwise they would not have started to sort things out. Remember that during a conflict, you are both against the problem and not against each other.
How to handle your first fight in a relationship? How to reconcile with a partner after a conflict? We talk about this later in the article.
Dealing With the First Fight In A Relationship: 9 Useful Tips
Being able to resolve quarrels correctly without loud scandals is not so simple. When a loving couple has their first big fight in relationship? The first conflict can arise both in a month of a relationship and in a year, the main thing is to be able to solve it correctly. If the first quarrel arose in your relationship, you need to resolve it and restore the former harmony. After all, your future relationship with each other will depend on the outcome of this conflict. We offer to take into account the following tips for resolving quarrels in a relationship.
1. Take the initiative for resolving the conflict
When you understand the essence of your first fight in new relationship reddt, start working on it. Don’t wait for your partner to do it. Be the first to bring up a discussion of the situation, even if you played an unpleasant role in creating it. When doing this, consider the time and place for a difficult conversation. Correspondence or showdown in social networks or on dating sites is unlikely to help resolve your conflict. Discuss your conflict in person in a quiet place, without strangers.
2. Announce a break to lower the degrees of negative emotions
An example of a turning point is the first fight in a relationship. During this, the partner may also decide to take a break from the relationship. At the same time, both partners mustn’t feel abandoned. Take a break from your relationship if you feel overwhelmed by negative feelings. This will be a great chance to start missing each other, then you can make peace with your partner faster.
3. Explain what caused your dissatisfaction
When do you have your first fight in a relationship? Quarrels usually appear differently for everyone, but on average it is 2-3 months after the start of a relationship. When in relationship first fight arises, it is important to be calm and try to explain everything to your partner intelligibly and without unnecessary negativity. Be sincere, tell your soulmate what offended you and why the quarrel arose. Ask for an apology in case you feel guilty about your partner. If you manage to find a common language, then a sincere, warm conversation is guaranteed to you.
4. Listen carefully to your partner
Sometimes, amid a quarrel, we don’t notice how a constructive dialogue turns into a conversation between two people unable to hear each other, each of whom is eager to express all their dissatisfaction. How to handle the first fight in a relationship? Try to choose a listening tactic during a conflict: allow your partner to speak out while trying to understand and hear them. In this case, the habit of asking again is useful: “Did I correctly understand that …?” This must be done sincerely, without sarcasm. Such a simple technique may surprise you with its result: sometimes it turns out that the reason for constant quarrels is the desire to be heard.
5. Do not use ultimatums during a fight
Things that happen after your first fight in a relationship: often, partners use ultimatums and various manipulations during a conflict. Remember that ultimatums are not only an ineffective technique, but also a very difficult one: they are appropriate only in rare, extreme cases, and resorting to them all the time, you risk seriously spoiling your relationship with your partner. No one likes to be the object of manipulation. So if this is your first quarrel in a relationship, forget about manipulation, because this may be the cause of further conflicts between you in the future.
6. Don’t raise your voice to your partner
If you are an emotional person, this advice may seem difficult to follow. Indeed, for too quick-tempered and assertive personalities, quarrels are impossible without a conversation in raised tones and a couple of broken plates. It’s just that it’s much more difficult to hear each other in this case. It is better to take a break, give each other a chance to catch their breath (for example, go for a walk alone), and then calmly continue the conversation later.
7. Don’t try to be always right
If you’re in the midst of your first major fight in a relationship, you don’t have to prove yourself right. This is a completely pointless exercise that will only lead to a larger conflict. You should not think that if you convey your opinion more persistently, they will suddenly agree with it and accept it. Sometimes the best thing you can do to resolve the first conflict in your relationship is not to seek out another batch of arguments, but to give in to your partner. If the argument has reached a dead end and turned into a pointless conversation, you can say: “Yes, you are probably right.” This will save a lot of effort, time, and nerves. By giving up the desire to win every quarrel, you will eventually win in the end, maintaining the relationship.
8. Choose the right time to sort things out
It’s not very good to sort things out at the moment when your partner just came home from work, tired and hungry or when you’re visiting someone’s parents. Of course, feelings are “boiling” and it is difficult to force yourself to postpone the showdown until the right moment. But here the choice is yours, what is more valuable for you: to wait or to deal with the consequences of the conversation when your relatives also entered into it.
9. Be diplomatic
When does the first fight happen in a relationship? Quarrels do not happen according to a schedule, this is a matter of your feelings. If you are very angry and upset, it is important to understand that the interlocutor also has feelings and experiences, and they are worthy of respect. Even if it seems that they are doing terrible things, or getting personal, there is no need to hurt your partner. Aggressive people are vulnerable, so a cheeky joke or a killer argument can ignite conflict more.
Be correct and diplomatic so that the atmosphere of scandal will dry up by itself. When your lover starts talking, get ready to consider a different point of view. Do not rush them to express their thoughts and do not interrupt.
How to Reconcile With The Partner After a Quarrel?
If relationships are an art, then reconciliation after a quarrel is one of its most difficult works. What’s next after the first fight in relationship? The next stage after a showdown during a quarrel is reconciliation. We have prepared for you some rules for trying with a partner after a quarrel:
- Wait for the emotions to subside for you and your partner. It is better to put up in a calm state. Then you will not only come to peace and harmony but also be able to productively discuss what happened and how to avoid it in the future.
- Take the first step. Partner does not take the action for reconciliation after the first fight in relationship elite daily? Start the reconciliation process yourself. In one way or another, in any conflict, two are to blame. Even if the partner is more to blame, remember that both of you are responsible for the relationship. Be wiser and give yourself a chance for a happy life.
- Don’t prolong the conflict. Resentments and negative emotions will snowball as long as both of you remain silent. Ignoring each other after a fight is the last thing. Therefore, as soon as you “cool down”, start putting up. Save time for more enjoyable moments with your loved one.
- Hug each other. It has been proven that it is simply impossible to be angry with a loved one for a long time if she hugs and kisses you. Try to physically demonstrate tenderness and care. It may seem a little unnatural to you at first. But when you start smiling or laughing, you will realize how important this advice is!
Final Word
There is no exact answer to the question ”When should you have your first fight in a relationship?”. Each couple is different. The first big fight in relationship is not always one of the most pleasant situations. But sooner or later it had to happen anyway. After all, all couples quarrel, all people are different and everyone has their interests. You can swear and ruin your relationship, parting, or you can act according to the basic rules of the conflict and get out of it with dignity, preserving the relationship. Quarrels, conflicts, and disputes are the whole science and the ability to deal with them is a life exam!
Sarah Weks is inspired relationship author.
Hi, just had my first big blow out with my girl and the tips here will help me smooth things out! I love her and really want this girl to be the one!