Is It Possible to Forgive and Forget When It Comes to Cheating?
It is difficult to describe what a person feels after being betrayed by the partner. Each of us has a different character and different manifestations of emotions. However, deception is unpleasant in any case. People always make mistakes. Is it possible to forgive and forget when it comes to cheating when your feelings are still strong?
How to forgive a cheater?
Forgiving a cheater is not an easy thing to do, especially when it comes to the closest person. Someone immediately strips the cheater out of his life, and someone thinks that he still has to fight for a relationship. If your partner did not make mistakes earlier and did not deceive you, perhaps you should not rush into parting. Consider whether you can sincerely forgive your partner, because simply playing a role will not work for a long time. Sooner or later, emotions will come out and new problems will begin in the relationship.
There is an opinion that a person who once betrayed will do it more than once. That is why you need without hesitation to put an end to the relationship. But if to judge on the other hand, each person deserves for forgiveness, because everyone makes mistakes. Perhaps doing a bad deed, your partner did not think about its negative consequences and succumbed to bad influence. Another thing is when betrayal is committed consciously and in cold blood, in spite of a partner or in retaliation for some kind of offense.
Most likely, such a relationship in the future will not have prospects. Of great importance is the reaction of the guilty. He may be upset because of the current situation and he is very sorry that he has hurt his soulmate. Maybe he takes it all normally and absolutely does not feel guilty. Forgiveness for adultery will require a lot of strength and wisdom. Lies and betrayals are not exactly the same thing. Sometimes a lie can be justified, it can make life easier, but in most cases this does not apply to the relationship between two young people.
There is no answer to the question: “how to forgive infidelity”? Every person independently decides what to do in this or that situation. To get over cheating, you need to correctly understand what happened. Accepting a situation is the first step towards forgiveness. It may take some time. At this stage, we begin to regret something and represent our future life without a loved one. Admit to yourself how much you hurt, do you have hatred for the person who hurt you? Remember all your mistakes, maybe your partner also forgave you once? There are no perfect people.
If you remember your mistakes, it will be much easier to forgive the other. You should not expect that your forgiveness will radically change the behavior of your soulmate. Try to understand the person who hurt you. Why did he do this or that act? What made him give in to temptation? What is the cause of your partner’s infidelity? What are the advantages of letting go of this situation? Is this person worthy of forgiveness? Forgiveness will save you from the past and thereby make you healthier. Each person makes something for himself even from negative experience.
How to get rid of the experiences?
When we learn about lies, we start thinking about what to do after cheating? Against this background, we are overwhelmed by violent emotions, and then depression. To understand the situation, first of all you need to calm down:
- Do not accumulate emotions. Do not go into yourself and hide negative emotions. Do not expect the pain to subside by itself. In the future, this may affect your health.
- Try to escape from the problem. After you have dumped the accumulated emotions, stop thinking about what happened and switch to something else. Take time to friends, family, try not to communicate with a liar for a period. This will allow to rethink the situation and not to make rashly silly acts.
- You need to understand your thoughts. If you consider yourself to be the culprit of the incident, try to accept this and objectively judge everything. Guilt can further negatively affect you.
- Do something nice for yourself. Think about what you would like at one time or another. Immerse yourself in work or go on vacation. The choice of classes depends on the characteristics of your personality.
- Talk to your abuser. Let him express his position. Find the cause of the problem to prevent similar mistakes in the future.
Those who cannot bear the blow themselves should turn to psychologists. They will help to develop tactics to overcome personal crisis. I you are not going to keep in touch with the person after his betrayal, do not waste time and nerves on disassembling and clarifying the relationship. By this way, you will only accumulate even more insults and negative emotions. People who decide to maintain relationships should work seriously on themselves in order to feel happy again.
To do this, both parties must find the strength to understand the causes of discord and eliminate them. Forgiveness does not mean that you can make mistakes again, and they will get away with it. A person who releases offenses shouldn`t suffer torture. You can forget the offense only when the guilty partner regrets what happened and needs to be forgiven. If a person does not admit his guilt, he will most likely betray again. Forgiveness after cheating is always hard. If you once experienced disappointment, do not lose confidence in all people. Only you will suffer from this in the future.
Benefits of forgiveness
Forgiveness is more important for those who are trying to forget the offense, because it will help to move on and leave the negative moments in the past. Forgetting the old grievances, you can restore the relationship after infidelity or succeed in the future alliance. According to Friedman, people who have preserved their offense cannot be honest and trusting. Having got rid of all indignations, a person feels herself more positive. Scientists have found that forgiveness significantly reduces stress levels.
People holding anger are more likely to suffer from heart disease. Negative emotions can take away a few years of life. True forgiveness is easy on words, more difficult on deeds. Forgetting a grudge is especially difficult in cases where the current situation completely contradicts your values and moral principles. Release the negative and you will see how easy it will be without this mental burden. Every time someone upsets you, you need to remember that you have the only life, and you have to live it happily.
How to prevent cheating?
Very often, a relationship crisis leads to betrayal. Perhaps young people do not spend enough time on their emotional connections or hide their desires and needs. The main thing is communication. Talk about what is bothering you and do not accumulate negative emotions. There are a few tips below, which could help you to prevent adultery and preserve the relationship:
- Tell each other what exactly you mean by the words “treason” and “betrayal”, because for someone, even an innocent friendly kiss is a reason for feelings. Tell your partner what is the meaning of the word “hoax” for you. Thus, your companion will know what not to do to aggravate the relationship;
- identify with your partner the “weak points” in your relationship. Determine what you both need in order to feel completely satisfied and happy. Compare how the needs and desires of the partner coincide with yours;
- develop together. With age, we all change. Everyone from time to time may have new hobbies, ideas, needs. Try to share them with your soulmate. Make joint trips to the cinema, theater, seminars and etc. Common interests always bring people together;
- surprise your partner. Stability is good, but relationships always need something new. Every person needs new emotions and impressions. Make your partner some unusual surprise. Do crazy actions together.
- be as honest with each other as possible. Encourage honesty in your relationship and stay yourself. Share secrets with your soulmate. This will show that you trust the partner, and he will trust you in return;
- show less jealousy. Jealousy is a completely natural feeling, but suspicion and criticism can annoy your beloved. Do not hold him with threats and fear. Focus on attracting your partner with some talents or abilities;
- Enlist the support of a psychologist. Feel free to seek help from a specialist. There is nothing bad in this. Counseling psychologist will show in which direction to act in order to maintain relationships.
Cheating is always painful, and the mere thought of betrayal can unbalance you and push you towards thoughtless actions. Try to take out the necessary lesson of the situation. Do not make decisions under the influence of anger. Forgiveness after betrayal is a whole, time consuming process. The main thing is not to dwell on the problem and always move forward.